I'm sure we also remember the sequel to this film, featuring the recently resurrected son of this psychopath - carrying on the family trade - one Jason Voorhees.
I'm sure we also remember the three-quel to this horrifying cinema legend, featuring yet again, Mr. Voorhees and his desire to seek vengeance for the beheading of his dear mother (we now realise he seems to be immortal... hmmm).
I'm not going to keep on with this format - largely due to the nature of my previous bracketed statement - partly because I would end up explaining the same plot over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and...
...I'm out of virtual breath.
The unfortunate thing about the Friday the 13th Series - and the Nightmare on Elm Street Series - is that there really isn't anywhere to go with the storylines or characters after around the third instalment. Both series are filled with gratuitous violence, vigorous, pre-marital sex and numerous instances of drug use.
Can you imagine him as a public service
representative? "Okay kiddies! Stay away
from drugs and pre-marital sex lest I
impale you with a rather large machete!"
This is, of course, the "Deadly Formula" mentioned in the title of this review. It seems that this exact combination of immoral elements is what sets off the overly corny and predictable killing sprees of these two supernatural psychopaths. This said, I have always enjoyed these types of films. Sometimes, there's simply nothing more satisfying than watching a giant, teenage douche-bag get a machete through the chest. This is by far, the only good thing about this remake. Unfortunately, the amazing amount of violence in this film along with the ridiculous kill-rate is overtaken by the fact that remaking a film that already has not only a prequel but eight sequels seems to completely destroy any suspense the film may boast. The most profound example of this being that we all know Jason is immortal after ten films - eleven if you want to count Freddy vs Jason - of the surviving protagonists thinking they've snuffed out the hockey mask-wearing slasher, only to find out at the end of each film just how horrifically wrong they are.
I don't believe I need to spend a whole lot of time discussing the plot of this film because regardless of whether you've seen the original films or not, features like this can often be described using only four brief phrases:
- Unbelievable teenage douche-bags.
- Gratuitous pre-marital sex.
- Occasional drug use.
- Extreme and rather entertaining violence.
Can you spot the unbelievable teenage douche-bag?
As much as the Friday the 13th series is considered to be one of the legendary horror franchises of our time, there really isn't anything more to it than the points mentioned above. The deepest you could go in terms of looking for hidden meanings behind Jason's desire to tie up his victims in sleeping bags and hang them over campfires until they cook is that he is seeking revenge for the horrible and somewhat untimely death of his mother - but let's face it, she was rather old and probably would have died soon anyway. The problem with this motive is that she was killed because she was running around slicing everyone up and I'm pretty sure that's the kind of thing society frowns on these days. I mean, sure, the camp counsellors did nothing to save poor little Jason from drowning because they were too busy snorting cocaine or whatever it is counsellors did in the 80's but that's no reason to introduce them to an assortment of sharp objects. Also, I'm a tad confused as to how a 70 year old woman managed to overpower a large group of incredibly fit, 22-25 year olds but I suppose that's not that important.
Overall, the remake of Friday the 13th Part 2 - I'm assuming this is the film they based the remake on considering the start of the film was simply the beheading scene from the original instalment of the series - left much to be desired. I felt like it was incredibly unnecessary considering I already knew that Jason would surivive no matter what they tried to do to him. I suppose that's just one of the perks of being immortal, but who knew he would jump out of the water at the end right?
On the very slim chance that the people who put this remake together will ever read this review; here's some advice for you. If you're going to remake a film, make sure that the story you're using hasn't already been used in the original version and if it was already used, make sure that you present it in a way that is new an innovative. For example, Rob Zombie took the history of Michael Myers - the notorious and somewhat immortal killer from the Halloween series, not the somewhat retarded actor from the Austin Powers films - and turned it into a disturbing yet intruiging documentation of the beginnings of a complete psychopath. What he created worked because he came up with a new and rather messed up light under which to place this franchise and he ran with it. Unfortunately, not all members of the film industry are as creatively orientated as Rob Zombie and as such, they obviously felt they needed to pump out something quick and crappy in order to generate a few extra handfuls of change to compensate for the rapid decline of things to fill their pockets with.
I give this film a 4/10 for sticking to tradition.
Yours Sincerely,
Riddick-ulous
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